I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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