false alarm. still invincible.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
