How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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