She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
