Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
