Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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