When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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