Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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