A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
