UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
