My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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