I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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