can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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