youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
