I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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