She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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