Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How does one acquire holy water?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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