It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
