i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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