Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize