it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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