shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
