I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize