It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
