It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize