I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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