U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
