I haven't been this sober since birth.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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