don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
