my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
What drink are we having for lunch?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
