i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
