On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
