a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
