is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
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So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
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I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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