it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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