I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She's the barista slut.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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