i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
