So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
