Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
