i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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