So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
