the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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