You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
A+ Viking dick
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
