I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
