Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize