I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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