Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
