it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
