Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
