Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
