It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
