Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
