she peed on how many people?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
