what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
