there was a trapeze. enough said
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
