I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
