I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
