dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I will die if light touches me.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
