So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
