i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
