Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
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What drink are we having for lunch?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
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You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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