I must be too annoying 4 u.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
