Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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