God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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