I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Actions speak louder than pants.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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