Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If its not for food we ain't going out.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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