..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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