forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize