Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
