Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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