i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
