I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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