no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
