Where is the hickey?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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