tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
